Percy Jackson Song Spoofs
by BornAsTheSeventhMonthDies
Summary: Hey. This got forcibly removed from the site recently. Do I care? No. So I put it back up. It's the spoof fic that we all know and love.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, these are just some song spoofs I made up in my spare time. Each one corresponds to a real song, and a PJo or HoO book.**

 **This one is Party in the U.S.A. The book is Lightning Thief.**

 **Verse 1**

I went to Camp Half-Blood cause my mom got scared of my math teacher

Welcome to Camp now you're the bomb cause you killed the Minotaur

A friend of mine gave me some flying shoes, remembered that I really like the color blue

Got in a water fight on my first day, news flash Chiron doesn't eat hay

I'm feeling kinda nervous when Mr. D said 'Hey Peter you'd be better off dead.'

Then he disappeared into thin air

And our bus went up in smoke

This quest is not a joke

Grover doesn't drink the Diet Coke

I got Riptide, my two best friends, and we gotta find a thunderbolt

Capturin' flags like yeah

Choppin' up Furies like yeah

Soon Argus drives us all away, I feel so very loved

Yeah, it's a normal Percy day.

 **Verse 2**

We hop off at Aunty Em's for a cheeseburger and fries

She's really nice, it's all for free just don't look in her eyes

A Chimera burned a hole in the building, I found out I can go underwater without breathing

A water lady told me about my powers, I was on the news in an hour

I've started getting nightmares, cause this quest is bringing me close to tears

We send an Iris-message back to Camp

With a car wash and some cash

Now we really gotta dash

Cause that was the last of our stash

We gotta deadline, a bolt to find, everything's gonna be okay

Ares drivin' up like yeah

Pointing around knives like yeah

We gotta fake zoo truck, a ride to Nevada, and a stampede breaking out

Yeah, it's normal Percy day

 **Verse 3**

We wander around we're doing fine till we find the Lotus Hotel

It's all for free, there's no line, but Darrin's how I tell

We barely got out of there alive, we paid infinity dollars for a three hour drive

We finally got to Los Angeles, then we ran into Procrustes

We got to Charon's place pretty easily

Cause he seemed kinda greedy

So we bribed him with all our drachma

We played with a three-headed dog

Then we walked through some fog

We walked through some fog

We sort of talked to the lord of Death, but then he tried to kill us all

Breakin' our pearls like yeah

Floatin' away like yeah

We went back to the California beach, I beat up Ares right away

Yeah, it's a normal Percy day.

 **Verse 4**

We brought a thunderbolt back to Zeus the king

And saved the world and everything

Camp Half-Blood's where we're going

And everybody starts to sing

We got back now we're heroes for life, but we don't get a prize today

Dodgin' scorpions like yeah

Sneakin' Dr. Pepper like yeah

Luke turned out to be a bad guy, Kronos tryna rise today

Yeah, it's a normal Percy day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, these choruses are all different. I just need a line separator, (and apparently you don't get one.)**

 **This song is 'Blank Space'. The book is Sea of Monsters.**

 **Chapter 1:**

Good to see you Annabeth, where you been,

It's not easy getting through middle school,

But it's burned down cause of a Laistrygonian,

Saw you there and I thought, Oh my gods, time to go

Harma diaboles please take it slow,

Fightin monsters every day,

New monsters, Clarisse might die,

But we saved her so she's mad,

Got a prophecy of mine,

Good I got that blessing from my dad,

Let's go find one of my friends,

I don't know how this one ends,

Grab some drachma and a map,

Since Clarisse got the quest we gotta sneak out of camp.

 **Chorus:**

So we're gonna sail forever, or in two minutes go down in flames,

Please just tell me when it's over, and if Grover was worth the pain,

I got a long list of angry monsters, but I forgot their names,

Thalia's pine got poisoned, and Chiron's blamed.

 **Chapter 2:**

At Circe's island, there're no guys,

She'll give Annabeth incredible things,

Gift of gummies saved our lives,

But we accidentally let out a pirate king.

Sirens offer you what you want,

But it's really just a thought,

Wait, they're trying to eat you, oh no,

Polyphemus throwing rocks,

Clarisse just doesn't know when not to talk

Now he wants another bride,

Annabeth and I try to hide,

We got away with hippocampi

Cyclopes I guess are annoyed by nobody

 **Chorus:**

We sailed back to Miami, but Luke captured all of us,

Clarisse went back to Camp, and Oreius got a nasty scar,

We killed a lot of monsters, because the Ponies came,

We hopped back to Camp Half-Blood, and now we're stayin'.

 **Bridge:**

Thalia got taken out of her pine tree,

Now she'll be my best friend or worst enemy,

Thalia got taken out of her pine tree,

Now she'll be my best friend or worst enemy.

 **Chorus:**

So we got the Fleece to the pine tree, and Tantalus is far away,

I got a wristwatch to shield me, don't tell me chariot racing's just a game,

I need a normal school year please gods, teachers think that I'm insane,

But you know I'm a son of Poseidon, and trouble's in my name.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, everyone! Here's the last PJO song. The book is The Titan's Curse, and the song is 'Riptide'.**

 **And I know, the choruses are all different. _Waaaah._**

 **Verse 1:**

We went to Westover for di Angelo,

I was scared of manticores and failing on my own now,

Annabeth fell off into the sea,

Nico loves it in this dream.

 **Chorus:**

Zoe, come on, why do you hate us,

Take us away to Othrys

I wanna be the hero again.

I love it when we have to fight monsters,

I get to show off my sword skills,

But it's not the same without Wise Girl, yeah.

 **Verse 2:**

There's a junkyard that I think you'll like,

With crazy robots who want to kill us for figurines,

But we have to stay on the run,

Zoe doesn't get our dam puns.

 **Chorus:**

Zoe, I get that you don't like Riptide,

But I promise I won't be like that guy,

I wanna be a better man.

We're close now, we see swirling storm clouds,

Atlas is yelling too loud,

I took the sky for Artemis.

 **Chorus:**

Zoe, you make some very good stars now,

We managed to save the fish-cow,

Bessie's safe in a bubble, yeah,

Nico didn't take it too well when

I told him, now we're not really friends, and

He made a crack in the dining hall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, next song! Sorry, I can't figure out how to use line breaks. Sing it in your head!**

 **This one's 'I'm Yours', and the book is Battle of the Labyrinth.**

 **Verse 1**

Well it dawned on me that I should try to get accepted

At my stepfather's school so I went and I did

But I had to jump through a crack, I think I'm never going back

I went to Camp Half-Blood in my man Argus' taxi

I met a guy named Quintus who seems like a mystery

We found a scary cave, Grover doesn't feel so brave

And we don't have time to waste, no more, no more

I hate the fates, I know I'm gonna die.

 **Chorus**

Well listen to the Sphinx she's quizzin you,

Feel through the darkness that we're going through

Look into Luke's eyes, cause they're gold, gold, gold,

We went to Geryon's farm and made the horses scream

You know we're all family?

And the gods decided to make us feel unloved, loved, loved,

 **Verse 2**

We went to a garage and got a new side mission

We gotta find out about volcanoes and what Hephaestus is missin'

But I accidentally blew it up, and I fell on Ogygia,

And I want to stay for forever with Calypso

But I know I can't cause I gotta go back so,

She gives me a magic raft, I just keep looking back,

And I get back right as my friends

Are burning my shroud, Annabeth's too loud, I think somebody's mad.

 **Chorus**

Well we learn from Theseus and use a clear-sighted mortal

We gotta use our demigod powers to open up this portal

Into the Labyrinth, and man it's dark, dark, dark

Nico used his power and made Kronos scream

Cause he was about to kill me

But there's a huge battle happening above, above,

And Kampe's come back from Tartarus

She doesn't miss, and when she hits, you shrivel into dust.

 **Chorus again**

But finally we win cause of Briares

He threw a hundred boulders when Quintus said please,

But now Quintus dies, to destroy the Labyrinth

And the Labyrinth collapses and goes far away,

And almost everyone survived the day,

And Chiron said we did pretty well,

And I won't hesitate no more, no more,

Our time is short, I'm fifteen, and yeah I'm gonna die.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everybody! Please review! They make my day! (And I know people are reading this. I can see it on my Author page.)**

 **This is The Last Olympian, the song is American Pie.**

A long, long time ago, I can still remember how I used to have a normal life

I didn't have to fight at all, but then I'd never met Paul, and I didn't even have a knife,

But now my life is really changin'

Kronos is my grandpa and he's ragin

Beckendorf came on Blackjack

We went to stop the monster attack

We blew a cruise ship out of the sea,

I went underwater to see the king,

And Beckendorf's life-yarn just went ping,

They told me the great prophecy.

CHORUS:

They're all saying,

Percy, Percy, you're gonna die.

Save or trash Olympus then you're goin' bye-bye,

Cursed blade's gonna end you, and we're all gonna cry,

This'll be the day that you die, this'll be the day that you die.

Well did you read that prophecy and did you know it refers to me, when it says sixteen against all odds,

And do you believe I'll make it now, cursed blade'll end me anyhow, I'm seriously tired of the gods,

Well Kronos is risen and he's coming here, my sixteenth birthday is getting near,

Clarisse got really mad, without Ares this is gonna be bad,

Great idea isn't it, to get invincible from the river Styx, but Luke also went into the pit. Dang, that great prophecy.

CHORUS

Well we drove into Manhattan, we kinda-sorta had a plan, but it didn't work so well.

Cause there's just too many monsters here, even though the rivers both got clear, enemies here, you can tell,

You know that bridge? I broke it down, Kronos had to find a different way into town,

Rachel Elizabeth Dare, came in without a care,

And while we fought this huge army, she came and then she said to me,

Sorry, you're not the hero Percy.

You mean in the great prophecy?

CHORUS

Kronos sent a drakon to go and attack us, it was bigger than three school buses,

Rachel said we couldn't win, without the Ares cabin,

But I still tried to beat it up, I didn't really have much luck,

Then the Ares cabin came and fought, but we saw Clarisse was really not,

Real Clarisse killed the drakon, but Silena was too far gone,

We saw she was Kronos' secret spy, and then she decided she would die,

Closest Clarisse ever came to cry,

I'm confused by the great prophecy.

CHORUS

Well there we were all in one place, every hero in this tiny space, and no time left to run away.

Well, we were ringed up around the Empire State, the mortals started to come awake, then Hades came to try to save the day,

Kronos sealed off Olympus, he didn't even bother trying to kill us, no satyr or minor god, could stop Kronos' destructive flood,

And as the flames climbed into the sky, from where Kronos was blowing stuff high, I heard him laughing like a crazy guy,

About this great prophecy

CHORUS

Well we got up to the throne room, where it was full of gloom and doom, Kronos was having fun it's true.

Kronos came to beat us up, we tried to fight, it wasn't much, but then Annabeth thought of something new,

She tried to talk, you promised me, Luke came back from the titan king,

He tried, his armor opened, and Kronos got all broken,

Then the god that I admire most came and then he said my name, he said you're in for glory and fame.

I like this great prophecy.

And now they're saying,

Luke, Luke you're the one who's gonna die.

Save or trash Olympus and now you went bye-bye,

Cursed blade did end you, and now we all cry,

This'll be the day that you die, this'll be the day that you die


End file.
